GRIEF

Losing a loved one is one of the most distressing and emotional experiences people face. But because death is such a common life experience, virtually everyone deals with grief at some point.

For some people, though, this normal grief reaction becomes much more complicated, painful and debilitating, or what's known as complicated grief. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble accepting the death and

Mental health experts are still analyzing how complicated grief symptoms differ from those of normal grief or other bereavement reactions. During the first few months after a loss, many signs and symptoms of normal grief are the same as those of complicated grief. However, while normal grief symptoms gradually start to fade within six months or so, those of complicated grief get worse or linger for months or even years. Complicated grief is like being in a chronic, heightened state of mourning.

Signs and symptoms of complicated grief can include:

Extreme focus on the loss and reminders of the loved one

Intense longing or pining for the deceased

Problems accepting the death

Numbness or detachment

Preoccupation with your sorrow

Bitterness about your loss

Inability to enjoy life

Depression or deep sadness

Difficulty moving on with life

Trouble carrying out normal routines

Withdrawing from social activities

Feeling that life holds no meaning or purpose

Irritability or agitation

Lack of trust in others

The Kubler-Ross five stages of grief:

Denial, shock or isolation

Anger

Bargaining

Depression or sadness

Acceptance of the loss

People who didn't follow the steps in order or who became stuck at one of these stages were thought to be in an unhealthy grieving pattern. Today, though, most grief experts don't embrace this theory, instead believing that while grief is an evolution, most people don't go through organized stages.

While it's not known specifically what causes complicated grief, researchers continue to learn more about the factors that may increase the risk of developing it.

These risk factors may include:

An unexpected or violent death.

Suicide of a loved one.

Lack of a support system or friendships.

Traumatic childhood experiences, such as abuse or neglect.

Childhood separation anxiety.

Close or dependent relationship to the deceased person.

Being unprepared for the death.

In the case of a child's death, the number of remaining children.

Lack of resilience or adaptability to life changes.

It's normal to experience grief after a significant loss. Most people who experience normal or uncomplicated grief can move forward eventually with support from family and friends. But if it's been several months or more since your loss and your emotions remain so intense or debilitating that you have trouble going about your normal routine, consider talking to your health care provider.

Specifically, you may benefit from professional help if you:

Can focus on little else but your loved one's death.

Have persistent pining or longing for the deceased person.

Have thoughts of guilt or self-blame.

Believe that you did something wrong or could have prevented the death.

ACUPUNCTURE and GRIEF

Acupuncture can help with over 100 kinds of emotional disturbances, including grief.